Bon, mesdames, messieurs les critiques souvent quand je lis vos poulets à propos de mes livres (souvent) à propos de ceux des potes,
(parfois)
(faut pas déconner, sauf quand je suis sommée par un copain la bave aux lèvres – c’est-à-dire exactement comme moi cinq minutes auparavant sur celle qui me concernait – de lire l’horreur pondue par le plumitif aigre,
(épithète homérique pour « Critique ») à propos de son bouquin à lui)
bref, souvent, je suis un poil déconcertée. (C’est-à-dire dès que j’ai fini de lacérer le tapis.)
J’ai pas écrit le livre dont vous parlez et ça me sidère. Je me demande où vous avez trouvé ce clone qui utilise le même titre que le mien, la même collec et où est la garce qui se fait passer pour moi jusqu’à mon non point.
Je me dis alors plein de choses (Juste après « calme-toi ce n’est que de l’ego mal placé !») :
1) le lecteur a le droit de lire le livre qu’il veut même si c’est le tien à la base.
(Dire cela sur le ton du Onzième commandement)
2) j’ai dû merder quelque part, pas être assez claire.
(Dire cela sur un ton peu convaincu mais traversé d’une large rasade de doute existentiel).
Mais merde bordel de nom de zeus, JE NE SUIS PAS UN AUTEUR ECOLO, je suis un auteur de sf !!!!!
Si.
Vous l’avez vu le monde ?
Dis, Lecteur ? T’as entendu parler de Fukushima ?
Alors si je te raconte le futur qui chante pas au milieu d’une décharge pourrissante, c’est pas parce que je suis écolo.
Ben non.
C’est parce que je suis une sale garce réaliste et que le décors à venir, j’ai beau changer mon vernis à ongle et écouter Vanessa Paradis en boucle ben, dans ma tête, ça donne ça.
C’est pas de l’écologie, c’est pas du militantisme. Un auteur d’anticipation, ça anticipe, et s’il essaie de faire son taf correctement, il anticipe pas à côté.
Moi mon propos, il est toujours centré sur mes héros, c’est pas que le monde rien à foutre, mais c’est trop grand pour ma petite tête, ce sont les gens qui m’intéressent. Donc par pitié, quand vous me lisez, demandez-vous ce que ces gens que j’ai créés font et sentent, quelle est leur histoire et là, vous aurez tout mon propos.
Sauver le monde, quand par hasard ils y arrivent, n’est pour eux qu’un hobby sans importance, cessez de vous focaliser sur le hochet, regardez le berceau.
Mais ouais je sais, c’est de ma faute, je m’exprime mal.
Aussi mal d’ailleurs qu’une de mes copines, dont le propos n’était pas, non, les pauvres petits bouts de choux (le jour où j’entends cette expression dans sa bouche, je l’abats miséricordieusement) ou des préoccupations toutes emplies de « féministudes » droit issues de « femme actuelle ».
Et pour les nouvelles à chutes, j’me comprends.
Bref, messieurs les critiques, faites un effort, lisez mais comprenez ce que vous lisez avant de tomber dessus, je préfère cent fois que vous me lapidiez pour un truc que j’ai voulu et raté que pour un truc qui n’est pas dans mon bouquin (c’est valide aussi pour les louanges, rien de pire qu’un pire compliment).
Ouais je sais, c’est pas logique.
Si j’étais logique, je devrais me réjouir quand vous vous plantez à ce point mais non je n’y arrive pas. Bizarrement, je préfère cent fois lire « j’en ai rien à battre des émois adolescents de X-men homos », que « merveilleuse ode écologique »
Allez comprendre.
Enfin bon, c’est clair :
Un auteur, une balle.
* Pour ceux de mes lecteurs n’ayant jamais rien eu à battre des romains sauf dans Astérix, ce qui est leur droit le plus strict, la roche Tarpéienne était celle d’où nos antiques voisins précipitaient les condamnés un peu intéressants. (Genre traîtres à l’état.)
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